I will no longer sacrifice myself at the altar of achievement.
I have spent a lifetime there.
It makes my soul lonely.
It separates me from the truest version of myself.
It fills me with doing, fear, lack, and competitiveness.
It is noisy.
Busy.
Full of criticism.
I will not live at that altar any longer.
Not for a business title of any kind, in service of corporate greed, hustle culture, or capitalism.
Not for relationships of any kind, in service of being a friend, a family member, a wife, a girlfriend, or any other “ship”.
Not even for the darker places within me, the ones that try to calm my fear, my perfectionism, my escapism, my low self-worth, or my need for control.
Instead, I am building a new place to worship.
From the ground up.
The altar of purpose.
It is constructed on a foundation of presence, peace, joy, flow, and softness.
It will be decorated with flowers and bathed in light, full of self-love, courage, sisterhood, friendship, family, and support.
I will gladly sit with myself, and by myself here.
There is no noise.
So I can listen to the only sound that matters, the sound of my own voice.
It does not shake.
It speaks in statements, the language of intuition.
It does not question.
Because within my intuition lies my peace, my joy, my legacy.
And me.
The altar of purpose is a warm and welcoming place.
It is open.
It is safe.
It is creative.
It is curious.
It requires only that I stay on the journey.
It is why I am here.
I will worship at this altar every day, even if only for a few minutes.
And I will pray that it brings me fuel.
Fuel in the form of courage and bravery to stand in places where I feel frozen with fear.
Fuel in the form of words that guide and support others.
Fuel in the form of ideas that bring change to a world growing darker with hate and rage.
Fuel in the form of abundance so I may continue.
But most of all, fuel for love.
Deep, beautiful, authentic love.
For myself.
For those around me.
For the people of this country and the world, standing at the precipice of breaking.
The distance between these two altars is short.
It is the distance between my head and my heart.
At times, I may lose my way along that path.
But I will not stay lost for long.
Because this altar glows within me.
It is my heart.
It is my purpose.
It is me.