Standing, Not Posing
I arranged my face before I walked in.
Now I just enter.
I decorated myself for a vision of beauty.
Now I see me.
I broke myself open to prove them wrong.
Now I rise.
I feared failure so deeply I shrank myself small.
Now I jump.
I faked smiles and laughed at jokes that weren’t funny.
Now I choose joy.
I performed perfectionism so I didn’t have to show myself.
Now I am seen.
I gripped the steering wheel so tight for control.
Now I surrender.
I forced my life forward to nowhere I wanted to go.
Now I flow.
I begged them to show me who they really were.
Now I believe them.
I sacrificed everything and called the emptiness love.
Now I am open.
I rehearsed for every role I thought I needed to play.
Now I am.
I loved being loved and loved giving love.
I still do.
With love, still becoming,
~amy